AI, Loneliness, and the Value of Human Connection

How AI reshapes loneliness and why real human connection protects health.

By Dean Melissa Perry

Every summer, I cross the Atlantic—sometimes with students, sometimes for conferences, always to see family. In sunlit plazas and narrow alleyways, in cafés and parks, I’m reminded how human existence flourishes when it moves at a grounded, relational pace. Children chase pigeons, grandparents linger over espresso, friends debate politics—not through tweets, but over wine.

These scenes aren’t about nostalgia; they’re a glimpse of what’s at stake as technologies like artificial intelligence increasingly mediate our social lives. Sitting in those plazas, I could feel the stark contrast to the United States, where screens and algorithms often dominate our days. That contrast sharpened my awareness of how fragile our well-being becomes when connection is outsourced to machines.

Our Brains—and Bodies—Need People

A growing body of social neuroscience reminds us that our brains evolved for closeness, not isolation. Functional imaging studies show that social rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain, including the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (Eisenberger et al., 2003). Perceived social isolation reshapes the brain’s default mode network, influencing empathy and mentalizing (Spreng et al., 2020). And social support buffers stress responses, lowering cortisol and reducing activity in threat-sensitive regions (Hostinar et al., 2014).

From a public health perspective, the evidence is compelling: A meta-analysis of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships had a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival over time—an effect size comparable to quitting smoking (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010). Human connection isn’t a luxury; it’s protective.

When AI Meets Loneliness

AI companions can feel appealing, especially to those with smaller human networks—but new studies show they are no substitute for human presence, and in some cases may even worsen loneliness.

• A study of over 1,100 AI companion users found that people with fewer human relationships were more likely to seek out chatbots, and that heavy emotional self-disclosure to AI was consistently associated with lower well-being (Zhang et al., 2025).
• A four-week randomized controlled trial found that while some chatbot features (like voice-based interaction) modestly reduced loneliness, heavy daily use correlated with greater loneliness, dependence, and reduced real-world socializing (Fang et al., 2025).
• Psychiatric research has also documented cases where intense engagement with AI chatbots contributed to delusional thinking or suicidality—what researchers describe as “technological folie à deux” (Dohnány et al., 2025).

Screens aren’t going away, and AI isn’t un-inventable. But we must recognize that companionship from machines is not the same as belonging with people.

Those European plazas remind us of what matters most: the glance across a café table, a friendly shoulder tap, laughter shared over fresh bread. These ordinary exchanges are the connective tissue of our lives. They act like the immune system of our minds—protecting resilience, lowering stress, and nourishing empathy.

Tips for Health and Well-Being in the AI Era

1. Set a Daily Human Minimum

Make sure that, at least once a day, you connect without a screen. A five-minute walk with a neighbor, lunch with a colleague, or calling a friend can reset your nervous system more than an hour online.

2. Pause Before You Scroll

Each time you reach for your phone or an AI tool, stop for ten seconds. Ask yourself: Am I looking for connection or just filling time? This simple check can steer you toward people instead of pixels.

3. Try a Digital Sabbath

Pick a regular time—a Sunday morning, a family dinner, or even just your commute—and turn devices off. Let sunlight, voices, and the rhythm of the real world recalibrate your inner balance.

4. Prescribe Connection Like a Nutrient

Treat human contact as daily medicine. Schedule small rituals: share music, cook together, walk with a colleague, or call someone just to say hello. Little doses add up to resilience.

5. Practice AI Literacy with Others

Talk with students, friends, or family about what AI can—and cannot—do. Ask: Who are the trusted human voices I would consult before accepting this AI’s advice? Curiosity and dialogue build resilience against over-reliance.

An Invitation to Reconnect

This isn’t an argument against AI. It’s a plea to protect the everyday human exchanges that keep us whole. Prevention is epidemiology’s most powerful tool, and for mental health, prevention begins with showing up—present, attentive, embodied—for another person.

Unpacking my suitcase from Europe, I realized the most valuable souvenir I carried home wasn’t an object but a resolve: In a world of glowing screens, the most radical act of health may be to look up, meet a gaze, and belong to one another again.

References

- Eisenberger, N. I., Lieberman, M. D., & Williams, K. D. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science, 302(5643), 290–292. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1089134
- Spreng, R. N., Dimas, E., Mwilambwe-Tshilobo, L., et al. (2020). The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation. Nature Communications, 11(1), 6393. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-020-20039-w
- Hostinar, C. E., Sullivan, R. M., & Gunnar, M. R. (2014). Psychobiological mechanisms underlying the social buffering of the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenocortical axis: A review of animal models and human studies across development. Psychological Bulletin, 140(1), 256–282. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671
- Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
- Zhang, Y., Zhao, D., Hancock, J. T., Kraut, R., & Yang, D. (2025). The rise of AI companions: How human–chatbot relationships influence well-being. arXiv. https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.12605
- Fang, C. M., Liu, A. R., Danry, V., Lee, E., Chan, S. W. T., Pataranutaporn, P., Maes, P., Phang, J., Lampe, M., Ahmad, L., & Agarwal, S. (2025). How AI and human behaviors shape psychosocial effects of chatbot use: A longitudinal randomized controlled study. arXiv. https://doi.org/10.48550/arXiv.2503.17473
- Dohnány, S., Kurth-Nelson, Z., Spens, E., Luettgau, L., Reid, A., Gabriel, I., Summerfield, C., Shanahan, M., & Nour, M. M. (2025). Technological folie à deux: Feedback loops between AI chatbots and mental illness. arXiv. https://doi.org/10.48550/arXiv.2507.19218 

This story was originally featured on Psychology Today in the Dean's recurring column The Mindful Epidemiologist.